You're nice to them at first, they're nice in return but maybe a little on the weird side. Or you find out you have some things in common. Discuss. Maybe even invite them to your party, open up a little more. Infatuation. You really like them, but you can't. You just can't. It's impossible for one reason or another- maybe you're in another relationship or he lives really far away. He could be too many years older or years younger. But you indulge yourself a little. You cut out time in your schedule. I mean, what the heck it can't really hurt, can it? The relationship is platonic, right? It never really is...and you both know that.
In "When Harry Met Sally," Harry argues that no male/female relationship can ever be platonic because sex will always get in the way. Here's the conversation that ensues:
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
The relationship between Werther and Lotte was doomed from the start. (Well, from the moment Werther is warned that she is both beautiful and engaged. Sorry, dude). Sure they had fun together, partied, exchanged gifts and read to each other (real selling point). But Lotte especially should have had the common sense and the guts to just end it. She was lucky that Albert wasn't a jealous husband who wasn't running after Werther with a shotgun. She had that going for her. And, it seemed that she was pretty responsible, taking care of her younger siblings after her mother passed away. Doesn't she know a thing or two about fairness? Because she wasn't being fair to Werther. He killed himself over her for christs sake. She also wasn't being fair to Albert, her devoted and successful husband. Or to herself! She has to live with guilt for the rest of her life. So, word of advice-- tell him it's just not gonna happen.
"A Reading from Werther by Goethe" by Wilhelm Amberg, 1870
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